Reflection and Hope

So here I am, at the end of 2011, starting a brand-spankin' new phase of my life. 


I'm on day 2 of the Ideal Protein diet. I stepped on the scale this morning and stepped back off with a private sense of embarrassment and disbelief. I'm going to keep the number to myself, for now. We'll see how things look at the end of the week. Wally the Cat even looked at me with a bit of "yah...right" in his blue eyes and the tilt of his head. Or maybe he was just ticked that I beat him to the scale by mere inches this morning. (How many people have cats who weigh themselves every morning? He checks in at 9.9 pounds every single day.) 


The first day of the diet was painless. I actually felt as if there was too much to eat. I wasn't suffering. Soup and a huge salad for lunch with the Walden Farms Asian dressing (not bad), steak and asparagus for dinner. 


I really didn't miss all of my usual starchy and sugary friends...yet. No diet soda, no popcorn with butter and parmesan, no yummy coffee drink, no Laffy Taffy's, no alcohol, no decadent dessert. And I survived! Didn't miss them a bit. 


Food Ratings: 
Hot Chocolate - 8


Leek Soup - 6 Needs something in it, maybe veggies, and more water than recipe calls for.


Banana Pudding - 4 
Tinny taste. I read on another blog that they tasted like the orange circus peanuts. I can see the correlation. I might try it again to try to convince myself that it's a good thing. Or not.


This morning I woke up with a headache and a fuzzy-headed feeling, which I read is typical. I still have it. Might be time to pop more ibuprofen, but I will try the salt-water fix first. I'm also very tired. We plan to walk the Spirit of America trail today with the dogs. It's gorgeous out, bright blue sky. I really want to, probably will go, but right now I'd rather cuddle up with a cat and a good book, and maybe some knitting. 


Start Weight: 177.4
Goal Weight: 120 to 135, depending on reality. 


Near-Term Goals: 

1. To fit into my favorite soft loden REI pants. I took them from the back of the closet and put them at the front. 
2. To fit into my favorite jacket that I bought at REI 3 years ago and haven't been able to fit into since. Bought it in summer, couldn't wear it by the time the weather turned cold. 
3. To have taken off enough weight to surprise my daughter, Amadee, when she comes home in February. 

Long-Term Goals:

1. To not be the "fat lady" in my children's wedding pictures. 
2. To not ever receive a diagnosis of diabetes (and I am right on the precipice of that). I've seen too much. I wouldn't be a compliant diabetic. 
3. To back away from needing food and alcohol to cope, as a way of dealing with my personal demons. 
4. To be able to knit all of those really cute sweaters that look great on thin people, and like crap on fat people.